A Facebook friend has been posting a lot of feminist and pro-choice propaganda lately, and I have had to bite my tongue, a couple of times, not to respond. Mostly, so that I don’t make a snarky response. For example the slogan “A fetus is not a baby!”….to which I want to say “If it is not a baby, then what is it?” or “I don’t know 3D ultrasounds can be pretty convincing”.
I consider myself a feminist, but my definition of feminism seems to be the opposite of the traditional sense of the word. After all, to be feminist don’t you have to be pro-choice, and pro-contraception? Two things I am very opposed to, ironically because I think they hurt women!
In Canada, we have no abortion restrictions and in January the Canadian Medical Journal exposed the sad fact that gender-selected abortions are a common practice here. I think killing of an innocent baby, regardless of gender, is so very wrong. If, however, one is a feminist, how can you be okay with sex-selected abortions, when you know that it’s predominately girls being aborted? I suppose their hands are tied on this one, because if they do speak out against it, then they can no longer use the argument that a fetus isn’t a baby. If it isn’t a human yet, then it obviously can’t have a sex worthy of being protected either. It also must hurt the feminist case, to know, that the vast amount of women getting abortions are for reasons other than rape and incest. Certainly not life threatening, or traumatic experiences!
In my opinion, being allowed to have a safe abortion does not help me to gain respect as a woman, but rather turns something that is beautiful and natural on its head. If women are voicing their displeasure about being an incubator, how does that impact men’s image of pregnancy? Does it help them be in awe of women? Does it make them respect us more? I think we need to change that image, we need to celebrate our uniqueness. How amazing that we can do something that men cannot do! Why do we have to be like men to feel accepted or equal? Why is having a CEO job, or a seat in parliament, celebrated more than having many well raised children? When did children become bad?
Similarly, contraception was supposed to promise equality with men, because we, like men, could have sex consequence free. But, has that been the result? Are women more respected now than before? Looking around the world today, I would say the opposite is true. We have more rapes, more one night stands, more abortions, more single mothers, and more broken hearted women than ever before. Every year more and more girls are complaining about how disrespectful the guys are. The saddest part is that many of them let the boys get away with it, because it is better to be disrespected and have a boyfriend than to be single. I spend way to much class time trying to convince girls that they are beautiful, that they are deserving of a guy who honours them as a person, not an object, but regrettably, it’s not always an easy sale.
It’s disheartening to read, or hear people make accusations against your beliefs, and accuse you of being anti-women, when you work so hard for young women. But, I also don’t understand how women can be so divided, on what is best for us, is there any way to bridge the gap and avoid all the animosity? But on issues as big as these, I remain skeptical that you can, because how can you compromise beliefs held so close to people’s hearts?
*** I just read a similar blog post by one of my favourite bloggers, Sr. Mariam James who blogs at NunEssential. Here is a link to her post “Kanye Loves Kim…kind of” sometimes you want to just shake some sense into women! ***